Americans Elect Corporation passed quietly last night, May 17, 2012, in its Washington D.C. penthouse bunker. It is survived by its loving father, Wall Street tycoon Peter Ackerman, its half-brother, COO Elliot Ackerman, and its faithful man-servant Arno Political Consultants, estimated to have pocketed $10 million in its loyal service to AE as ballot access procurer.
A private service will be held today at an undisclosed location. The family requests that memorial donations be directed to the Republican National Committee.
Requests for refunds of donations made to AE may be inserted in any convenient body orifice.